hi all...

been sleeping for the past 1 hour or so.. actualli was watching some movie on the channels but fell asleep...hahaz.. but well... think i was super tired... after youth came back with eric.. both of us doze off thruout the journey... it was onli till the interchange i nudge him awake..lolz

yep..



last nite spent alot of time thinking abt my life right now... realised how merciful God has been.. i look at the things around me n its human nature most of us unknowingly aint tat grateful... but ya.. juz look around... with the terrorism and unhappiness... melancholism... most of the time we find ourselves lamenting abt life more than giving thanx...

it's not an easy lesson... seriously... ultimately.. its most of these "down" times we see God more clearly than ever...



have not been too good recently... although trying hard to change for the better... yep.. not easy to do it by myself.. praying for God to mould me.. it's farnie how he picked me up from the dumpster and made me feel so precious in His eyes...

but seriously, well..think God changed me in alot of ways...

one thing ppl always complain abt me... not being friendly... look fierce... yepz.. it was tat bad..

ppl whom i dun relate well... i find it hard to converse with them... its realli not easy trying to break free from this barrier...

prayed abt it and He showed me the bigger picture.. open up myself to others too other than the ppl close to me...

it's realli so much joy... guess tat answers why i dun seem to get unhappy recently...

but still... think i got certain areas i gotto brush up on...well no one is perfect but every step into tiz life..we are learning something afresh... n tat's worth giving thanx abt... :)



music...

feel veri blessed... realli veri... think He gave me more than i asked for.. i still remember back then in sec 1 when the church band started... i was the onli redundant creature down there.. helplessly unable to play any instruments... unable to serve... i cried and cried..

prayed to God and ask Him to guide me... i picked up guitar... still remember those days when i was dragged to shadown zhi qin, my shi fu... he taught me the basics n chord chart reading.. then on... listening alot to music and practice helped me to improve... not saying i'm a fast learner..

but rather...God is showering the blessings down like a heavy downpour...

*remembered today during youth sang tiz song holy spirit rain down*

yep... then as i went along the way... our band learnt tat we need to haf a bassist... yipes.. we went abt 3 months without bassist and we thot it sounds ok when it realli isnt..hahaz.. ya.. it's tiz joy while serving Him which overshadows the music aspect... another lesson learnt :)

learnt some basic bass from sindric.. started to play... then found the bass quite boring sometimes cos i weren't improving.. i remembered the time i stormed out of a band prac because i was so pissed with the playing and my fingers hurt realli bad as bass is a heavy gauge instrument..

God taught me another lesson of responsibility... n humility... which then.. all i wanted is good music.. n the focus was wrong... so now even today... still constantly reminding myself to let go of pride n let the holy spirit lead the praise n worship... coming back to the heart of worship...

then my good buddy left church..leaving no one to warm the drum throne... as i knew some basics... i began playing drums for almost every week for a year... till huEy began playing drums too and my load was lightened... though tiring... but realli happy cos i learnt alot thru it and at the same time happy to serve...



actualli in short... i would juz say tiz.. without God.. i wouldn't be here where i m today... seriously...



life is full of unexpectations... u nv noe when it's heading up n up n God juz bring it all the way down...

His will... His own timing... which is so difficult to comprehend... to accept.. but its something i'm learning as well...



changes... the good areas i should keep it.. the negative areas i should realli discard it... ask Him to mould n change... yepz..

dear God... realli thank you for all tat u have brought abt in my life... nv leaving me every moment... thank you...

i juz pray tat he will continue shower his joy n love to every single one out there...

u and me... everyone out there... :)

nitez to all... haf a blessed week ahead